In the time

Sometimes you need to see a light

Sometimes a road

Sometimes you need to feel the breeze

Sometimes a whisper

Sometimes you need to hear the drizzle

Sometimes a drop

All I want to see, feel and hear now

Is You..But ...

You say you need time

You say you need another chance

You say you need respect

You say you are not ready.

I wish I can express my feelings into words

I wish I can express myself to you

I wish we can be together

where happiness and smiles are ours

where birds fly soaring into clouds as we look up

where butterflies wiggle around buds and blooming flowers

Decisions may be made imperfectly perfect.

But I am not sure if I will be till then.

As these days count and the clock ticks.

I know where I am heading.

Nowhere far from you,

But yes, to my own future.

So I start 'waiting for you'

with my hand still on my throbbing heart

Waiting for you to come and hold me

Before I lay silently into the dark.

11/12/11

Once again a new day has started..

a new day..breaking the dawn..

shining the light on us.. giving us new hope and belief.

the grasses wet with dew.. young birds chirping.

once again the world has started a new day.

 Love-this days-

is set by mind that delights.

So, tell me d diff between

 a bird in sky and a bird in cage.

In these dark evenings

on the untrodden paths

With my unfulfilled dreams

and my sealed eyes with untold truth.

"take a bus cross the road and go from here..take a left top of the corner and rob cars to nowhere AND remind there was a time we were indeed.. in the morning i'll be walking in this cold- starving of knowledge..its the broken box of innocence come fade.. in the morning bless that shiver and that life i remember its the beautiful excuse GO AWAY..!!

M not desperate i don't crave you i don't need to tell the fiction .. m not hurt just revealed in going wild.. u mean nothing.. u were no one  for the  inspiration that took self on something and now i don't have a time. In the morning i'll b walking..call this a  next story..its the broken box of innocence come away..in the morning bless the shiver and that life i remember its the beautiful excuse GO AWAY.....!!!"

I am still undetermined..but i am confident of something

My mind is unstable..but I smile carelessly

My heart is not alarmed..but I believe I am blessed

My plans are undone..but I am not given up yet!!

Memories to bury

There I was in the very place 

and I was searching something true ..

Imagined you in darkness around me

Imagined you everywhere thinking-

that you would still be with me.

I didn't blame you for anything

But, I prayed to God every moment

for you to be safe and happy

even without me.

You called me to say that you are okay,

Talked of me as though 

making me realize what I was not

Alas!Your anger couldn't change your charms.

I wish I could change you

Share a few untold truths

and try not defend myself

But, I guess nothing was meant to be changed-

So I chose to walk away

- to lay my memories to bury itself. 

T'sun

8th of April it is.. well i don't know since when i have been liking him. He is young, 'sportive' and good. He is simply the way he has to be with AND you can feel his soul clear from his eyes. The way he talks, the way he walks trying to stay close enough to me. I just love the way he looks at me and finds me curious too know him more. I often doubt what he is up to... Yeah! i convince my heart to take a chance.
I have never been in a comfortable 'relationship'. All i wish for is to be with a person the way i want to be. My friends often tease me for not having a 'boyfriend' yet. They find me sweet,caring and kindhearted. Yes! I am. But i wonder why cant a special  one find me. I often become desperate and longing to have one. Well, human need human!! Many a times, i cry hugging my pillow and fall asleep. But yes, next morning i never forget to wear a smile. May be this is why many people around me remain stunned to see smiling for no reasons. Many think I am just mad or may be i try gain attention. Question is- Why does my smile bother them? I know it confuses them and it should not matter to me. But yeah..i can proudly say. YES I AM FINE!!
Coming to the person i like.... i recently said that i like him. He smiles and replied- You admitted the truth. Its okay. God! i still think what does this 'okay' mean. Is he waiting for time? Is he testing me or rather something more of me? I am just confused and all i can do is just wait. I have a good close friend from Ahmaur. But he never believes in love kinda stuff or may be he is just too kind to handle any good around him. Once again i convince myself saying..Wait for the time. :)

To the other place..

In this place so far,

explain me a reason..

for the purpose of this living..

in despair and hope..

despite of every presence..

still there is a presence of some absence..

something that holds me back..

for an undefined moment..

where i am lost in my thoughts..

my head throbs just like my heart..

i begin missing the real me..

The free minded innocent me..

who had everything limitless..

who was like a free lamb on lawn

free as bird in sky..

Yes! AM free..but just 

free like a fish in water..

and this water has its bound.

The bound to keep me in limit and "within" the bound..! 

:)

A beautiful world

Trying to find you in the reflection of water

Believing the eyes of that one you see in mirror..

Sometimes the beautiful things harm you..

the face of the truth that shivers your skin

And freaks you out

The smell n fragrant that captures your mind

demands for a high spirit and

love for the innocence.

Pretty things in the corner

owns you for a decision.

In this space, so far well known

needs a private freedom

Off the street.. you never know when you are kicked off!!

Still lost n searching for something..

privileged for doing things in a different world...

 'beautiful enough'- A beautiful world

 ;)

Its you.. always

The moment I saw u .

U were busy lukin at d moon.

I turned my face n wept.. allowin my memories to hurt.

I smiled rem. D tym whn u wr der.

Jez lyk d distant star right of dat bright shinin star.

Always by my side, to guide me my way ryt.

Now u r gone… leavin me as a loner

In d midst of thz dark forest.

Tears rollin dwn-I stretch my hand n say Hey you.

U wr out dr on ur own… hearin sumthn agnst d wall

I crawled in the tune of d rustling leaves…

U turned away once agn.. n al I cud is once agn fall.

The cold air helpd me to shiver in my pain..

Confused emotions abt u cudnt calm me..

I tried convncin myslf...bt all in vain

Lyt shimmerd thru those broken pieces of mirror.

I tried to wake up frm dis sad dream..  ur promisin words held me wid hope

Lyk a Gleam of lyt dat holds normal..

 :)